Attorney: Doctor, before you preformed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Doctor: No.
Attorney: Did you check blood pressure?
Doctor: No.
Attorney: Did you check for breathing?
Doctor: No.
Attorney: So, then it is possible that the patient was still alive when you began the autopsy?
Doctor: No.
Attorney: How can you be sure doctor?
Doctor: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Attorney: But could the patient still have been alive, nevertheless?
Doctor: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
2.
Attorney: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
Doctor: Yes, the autopsy started around 8:30pm.
Attorney: And Mr Smith was dead at the time?
Doctor: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!!
